Every Friday Night
every friday night.
so worked up that i can hardly breathe. tears are streaming. i cant think. all i can do is close my eyes, curl into a ball, and ask God to help me. to help me make it through the next 21 days. not because it will be hard to make it. but because i know if He doesn’t help me, i WILL NOT make it through.
i try to find some human contact. someone to talk to while i’m feeling so down. sometimes i just fall asleep, sometimes time helps, sometimes i try to distract myself after 20 minutes of this heartache and hurt, but most of the time, i call home. ring…. ring…. ring…. ring…. ring….. ring…. ring…. ring…. ring…. in desperation, i put down my head. after 10 more rings, i hang up. no one answers. i call out, and no one hears me. i reach out but there is no hand to grasp. i cry out, but no one is here so i wipe my own tears.
the next morning i try to convince myself that i haven’t given up.
